The Truce Shall Let You Freeze
by King in Yellow
Summary: Ron surprises Kim with ski trip, forcing another truce between Kim and Shego. Kim and Shego can't let Ron know Shego is at the resort with her boyfriend. Ron can't let Kim know Shego and Drakken are at the resort. Drakken can't let Kim know he's there, or Shego know he's there to spy on her. And then things get complicated. Ron's good intentions are the mother of all chaos.
1. The Cold Hard Truce

In **Truce or Consequences** Kim and Shego made temporary peace while looking for Ron and Drakken, and Kim set Shego up on a blind date. Shego extended the temporary peace by hiring Kim in **Truce is Stranger than Friction**. While watching Drakken, Ron won some money in a cooking competition and decided to take Kim somewhere nice. His intentions were good.

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**The Cold, Hard Truce**

"Hurry KP," Ron urged, "our ride leaves in eight minutes!"

"Our ride? What are you talking about?"

"Trust me, and hurry!"

"What do I need for the mission? Why did Wade call you? How are—"

He took her arm, "I've taken care of everything, come on!"

Kim was not entirely sure if she trusted him to have handled everything as he led her out of her house and took off running. She ran to catch up. "Where are we going?"

"Golf course. Ride is there."

"I mean, where is our ride taking—"

"Later, Kim, we gotta move."

After the g-forces went down sufficiently for Kim's stomach to return to its normal location she demanded answers, "What is this thing, and where are we going?"

"New supersonic vertical take-off thingie… The Air Force wanted to test it with passengers."

"So we're guinea pigs?"

"Nah, we're getting a free ride."

"Where are we going? What's our mission?"

"No mission, KP. I told you when I won that money in New York, I wanted to take you someplace special."

"We talked about skiing at Mount Middleton."

"Trust me. This'll be better."

"I… Ron, did it occur to you I might want appropriate clothing for where we're going?"

"Your mom packed for you."

"My mom?"

"Sure. If you're going to be gone three days I knew you'd need clothes."

"Three days! I…"

"We got separate rooms at the resort. Even separate floors. That was your dad's idea. He still didn't want to agree. The webcams? They were Wade's idea and what finally convinced him."

"Webcams?"

"One in my room, one in your room, so the parents can check up on us. Change in the bathroom. I don't think anyone would hack in and tape the transmission, but you never know."

"I still don't understand what's happening."

He smiled, "All you need to know is that we're going to have a great weekend, at a great resort. And it was my idea."

Memories of failed dates ran through her mind, filling Kim with a sense of dread. On the other hand, Ron had been doing much better lately. This might be a wonderful weekend. "It sounds wonderful," she told him, and gave him a hug and deep kiss before resting her head on his shoulder as he put an arm around her. "I should have had Shego threaten you with bodily harm sooner."

"Hey, I wasn't that bad – was I?"

"You were. But you've been great lately – and this really sounds wonderful… But you still haven't told me where we're going."

"It's going to be a surprise."

"A hint, can you give me a hint?"

"Bobby Flay told me about this really nice ski resort."

Kim felt a sinking sensation in her stomach, "In Chile?"

"Yeah… That Portillo place."

"The one Shego warned you against and said don't take me there?"

"Hey, Shego doesn't tell us what to do. Or maybe she does… She might have been doing that reverse psychology thing where you tell someone not to do something so they'll do it anyway. Do you think that was her way of telling me to take you there?"

"I don't know, Ron." _"No, she doesn't want us there. She was planning to go there with Joe and didn't want us in a thousand miles."_ Kim racked her brain, trying to remember the exact weekend Shego had told her that she would be at the Portillo resort. Kim felt fairly certain this was the weekend Shego had named. Joe was a secret agent… Maybe his government had sent him on a mission and the weekend with Shego had been cancelled. Maybe Drakken had a new take-over-the-world plan and needed Shego to steal things for him. Kim had never before wished for Drakken to be working on an evil plan, but she wanted it now.

Before going through customs Kim went into the ladies room and sent a text to Shego's number. 'Ron brought me to Portillo. Customs now. Where you? Text soon.'

The phone rang immediately. "Princess?"

"Where are you?"

"Chile, where I said I'd be – and where you aren't supposed to be."

"Aren't you out on the slopes?"

"I got here first. Joe isn't here yet. What the hell are you doing?"

"Ron surprised me."

"Why didn't you warn me?"

"I told you, he surprised me. Can we have a weekend truce? You aren't planning to steal anything – are you?"

"That's a personal question, but no. Crime is taking a holiday – at least with me this weekend."

"Good, now-"

"Where are you calling from? Did I hear a flush in the background?"

"Yes. We're at the airport and-"

"We'll talk here. Find a way to ditch the boyfriend for twenty minutes or so when you get here, text me, and we'll meet at the cozy bar." _*click*_

There had been no threats against Ron's life. Kim considered it a very successful call under the circumstances.

It was late afternoon when they arrived at the resort and checked in – too late to consider skiing that day. Ron and Kim were not only on different floors of the resort, they were at different ends. Kim wondered if that was also her father's doing. Kim pleaded it might take her extra time to unpack because she wasn't sure what her mother had included in her bag and promised to go to Ron's room in an hour so they could look around the resort together. With luck she could unpack in five minutes and have her conversation with Shego.

The webcam, with a note instructing her how to turn it on and to place it on top of the dresser, was on top of the suitcase. Kim followed the directions. There was also a note from her mother and something in a small brown paper bag. Kim read the note first:  
_"Kim,_  
_You're eighteen. Your father and I trust you, but_  
_you are an adult and can make your own decisions._  
_I don't know what you and Ron are doing, but I_  
_do expect you to be careful."_  
_Love, Mom_  
_P.S. Your father delegated watching this webcam_  
_to me. While Wade assures us they are secure_  
_there is the chance some genius could crack it, so_  
_don't do anything you don't want to appear on the_  
_web. And if you need some privacy in your room I_  
_suggest you 'accidentally' drop a towel over the cam._  
_There is no audio pickup, only visual on this."_

_"You're the best, Mom,"_ Kim smiled. She opened the small brown paper bag – and found a box of condoms. Kim blushed, her mother's warning to be careful taking on a deeper meaning.

Kim called Shego to arrange a fast meeting. "You said meet you in a bar?"

"The cozy bar, right."

"Does it have a name?"

"Nah, it's just the bar – but on the website they call it the cozy bar, and I've been in here waiting for you for two and a half drinks – get your ass down here."

It took Ron little time to unpack in his room, about as much time as it took for him to set up the little hammock for Rufus on top of the dresser. Ron glanced at his watch, wondering why it took girls so much longer to unpack than guys, and then turned on the television. He wondered if there was something wrong with the set - it seemed like all the stations were in Spanish.

Very little green skin was showing when a woman called, "Kim" as the redhead entered the bar. The cheerleader sat down and Shego slid a dark drink over to her, "Here, have a Mickey."

"What?"

"A Mickey Mouse – Coke and grenadine. It's a kiddie drink, but you're legal here if you want something stronger."

"I think I'll pass."

"Suit yourself. What I want to know is why the hell are you and the buffoon here?"

"It's your fault."

"My fault?"

"Sure, you told him to step up in the boyfriend department and… By the way, thanks."

"You're welcome."

"And when you said, 'Don't take Kim to Portillo,' he thought you were using reverse psychology or daring him or something."

"Great," Shego grumbled, "an imagination on testosterone. He really set this up without telling you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I give him points for that. So… One room?"

"Two," Kim blushed, "Dad insisted—I mean, that's what—Two rooms, okay?"

"Fine," Shego smirked. "Bought you and boyfriend a little present." She slid a small box in a brown paper bag across the table.

"Box of condoms?" Kim sighed.

"You're good… Okay, maybe good isn't the word. Ron might appreciate you being bad this weekend – but he'd probably call it good."

"Knock it off," Kim hissed. "Separate rooms. Room cams – that was Dad's idea too."

"There are ways around it," Shego assured her. "Look, I don't care what you and boyfriend do, or don't do, I just don't want to see him, or let him see Joe, okay?"

"Looks bad for government security agent to be on a ski weekend with international thief?"

"Bingo. Look, Joe should be here in about an hour. We'll have dinner here at the bar, then go to our room. You and what's-his-name can eat at the main dining room and hit the cinema or the rock climbing wall or something. Hell, you can have a nightcap here before you go to bed if you want – Joe and I will be gone by then. Tomorrow… Joe likes to get up early and hit the slopes. I can play Little Mary Sunshine and get up early or play evil seductress and keep him in the room 'til late – you and Ron want early or late shift for breakfast?"

"You take early."

"Skiing tomorrow… They got about three dozen trails here, beginners to expert. Joe likes the expert. I know you're good. How's Rufus's blond pet?"

Kim rocked her hand in a so-so gesture. "Beginner to intermediate. I-"

"Then keep him on the princess, Princess."

"What?"

"La Princesa is one of the trails. Joe and I will have lunch at Tio Bob's tomorrow – restaurant up on top. You and Ron can eat at the Ski Box, kind of a snack shack at the bottom of a run. When we're done skiing we send texts to each other and we'll coordinate how to avoid each other for dinner, okay?"

Kim smiled, "Sounds good, Sis." She extended her hand, "Truce through the weekend."

The two shook hands and Kim stood to leave, "Hey, don't forget the rubbers, Sis," Shego said, loudly enough for people sitting nearby to hear.

Kim blushed, and hurriedly grabbed the package. She felt certain that anything she said would be deliberately misinterpreted by Shego – who would make another comment with an even higher level of innuendo. She ran back to her room to drop off the second box – carrying them would give Ron ideas, then headed for Ron's room – wondering if perhaps this would be a good weekend to give Ron ideas.

Ron nearly sank the plans when his first comment was, "I want a glass of wine at the bar."

"Ron!"

"Come on, Kim. You don't have to have one. I want to order a legal drink. Mom and dad let me have a glass of wine with dinner if I want. I've had a beer or two. But I've never ordered one legal. You don't have to have anything."

"Later, okay?"

"I guess," he shrugged. They explored the common areas of the resort before dinner. He had a glass of wine with dinner and Kim told him again about the wine and sheep's head she had with Shego while they were looking for him and Drakken.

He suggested they turn in early to get an early start on skiing the next day. She countered with attending the cinema at the resort. The picture wasn't exciting, but they enjoyed sitting in the dark with Ron's arm holding her close. He got a beer at the bar after the movie and she ordered another Mickey Mouse. They drank slowly out on the deck which had hot tubs and a heated pool, looking up at the stars and the Andes.

The good-night kiss outside was held to a sedate level by the fact it was a well-lit resort hallway. She considered asking him in, but there was the potential for a little cuddling to end up on the internet, and if she used the towel trick her mother would assume something more than a little cuddling was going on.

"You're wonderful," she whispered before he went back to his own room.

Kim had told him to sleep late – she wanted to take it easy. Ron was surprised by the knocking at the door that awakened him earlier than he had planned. He stumbled to the door. It was too early for maids to be cleaning. "Kim?"

"No, it's me," a male voice answered.

"Who is…" Ron began. The voice had sounded too familiar. "Are you sure you're you?"

"Positive. Open the door, Rod."

Ron's fears were confirmed when he opened the door to find Dr. Drakken standing in the hall with an overnight bag. "Let me in," the blue man demanded. "I need your help."


	2. Blues in the Day

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Google Portillo and Chile and you'll find I'm using a real ski resort, runs, and restaurants. Who needs imagination when you have the Internet?

**Chapter 2 - Blues in the Day**

Without thinking Ron opened the door wider and Drakken slipped in, "My help?" Ron asked in disbelief, "I don't do evil."

"I need your help!" Drakken repeated, sinking onto a chair.

"Why should I help you?"

The blue man looked up at him, "After all we've been through together? You're the son I never had. Part of my evil family… The white sheep who didn't turn out well and who no one wants to talk about."

"I'll listen," Ron sighed, "but I'm not saying I'll help you. What's the problem?"

"It's Shego. She-"

"She threw you out of the lair?"

"You said you'd listen," the blue man pouted.

"Sorry, what happened?"

"Well… Her contract is about to expire and I'm worried she'll go free agent."

"What?"

"Don't I deserve some respect? She was a hero-gone-bad when I used my first round draft pick in the henchman lottery on her a few years ago. You don't know how heroes-gone-bad are going to turn out. Some of them get guilty consciences, some of them are still heroes trying to infiltrate your organization, and some of them simply aren't competent doing evil. I nurtured her talents, developed her skills as a team player… She was like evil daughter to me… Your evil older sister who I was proud of even when we ignored you for–"

"You're rambling," Ron warned. "You're saying Shego's contract is about up and she'll go free agent to someone else?"

"Exactly."

"Can you call her a franchise player or something to lock her in?"

"No franchise player rule… There used to be one, but villains just don't like playing by the rules."

"Why come to me? How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't… But I saw something about the Portillo resort and this weekend in her trash can and–"

"You go through her trash? That's either kinky or you really don't trust her."

"Someone has to empty trashcans in the lair. A clean lair is a happy lair. It was my turn."

"So… you think Shego is here… now?" Drakken nodded. It suddenly struck Ron that maybe Shego had not been using reverse psychology when she warned him not to take Kim to this particular resort. "Wait, how did you know I was here?"

"I didn't… I didn't know until I went through the registrations looking to see if I could figure out who might be negotiating with her and I found your name and room number."

"Is she here? What room is she in?"

"I didn't find her name… She's probably under an assumed name so I wouldn't find out that she's selling me out for more money."

"You sure she's selling you out for more money?"

"Well I'm certain she wouldn't sell me out for less. The Seniors could afford to hire her – maybe that nonsense mission last month while we were in New York was just so they could get a scouting report on her abilities. Dementor is way over his salary cap but he—"

"Salary cap?"

"It's like franchise players, no one follows the rules. I'm sure he has his eye on her."

"Dude, every man in a room has his eyes on Shego."

"True… You know my point. After I've nurtured her talent, trained her in evil, it's like she's stabbing me in the heart and twisting the knife."

"Well, isn't that evil?"

"Don't take her side. I'm here to scout out the opposition. See who she's negotiating with, sabotage the plans if I can or make a matching offer."

"Why do you need my help?"

"I can't be everywhere at once. If you see her try to notice who she is with. Find her room number and I'll find someway to watch it… Oh, and I need a place to crash."

"Say what?"

"The main lodge is full. I need a room. There's a little side lodge, but I figure she's here."

"I'm here with Kim."

The blue man suddenly look frightened and glanced around the room. "Where…"

"We have our own rooms."

"Adjoining?"

"No. She's on a different floor but-"

"So what's the problem?"

"I came here to enjoy a beautiful weekend with Kim, not to look for Shego."

"Please? After all we've been through together? One teensy little favor? Remember how I saved your life in… Well, I must have saved your life at some point in there."

Ron sighed, "Fine. Just don't let Kim see you. I don't want her to get into a fight with anyone this weekend – you or Shego."

"No problem," Drakken told him, pointing at the bag. "I brought a disguise so I can be invisible."

"You have an invisibility cloak? Cool."

"No, not literally invisible. I'll simply blend in and no one who knows me would even recognize me. It worked in New York."

"Please tell me you didn't bring the dress."

"And why not? I already had it and the wig and makeup."

"You are so ugly as a woman."

"I'm not ugly as a woman, I'm simply plain. And no one looks at a middle-aged plain woman. I become invisible."

"But people can still see-"

"Not literally invisible," Drakken told him, grinding his teeth. "Figuratively, figuratively invisible."

Ron sighed, "Okay, you can stay... Hey, you bring the purse?"

"Of course, it adds verisimilitude to the ensemble."

"Dude, I have no idea what you just said. Was that a yes?"

"No, I was-"

"So you don't have it?"

"I have it, I-"

"So why did you say you didn't have it?"

Drakken sighed, "What I said was, it makes the outfit. Of course I have it. What middle-aged woman wanders around a ski resort without her purse?"

"I don't know. I never pay any attention to middle-aged ladies."

"Aha! My point exactly."

"Hey, maybe you're right. Anyway. Take Rufus with you. Kind of cold for a naked mole rat on the slopes. He can help you look."

Drakken looked at Rufus. The rodent gave him a claw up, in what Drakken assumed would have been a thumbs-up gesture, if Rufus had thumbs, and not another digit. Drakken gave Rufus a thumbs-up and nodded.

Ron looked at Rufus and silently mouthed, "Watch him." The mole rat responded with a nod and a wink.

As long as he was up, and felt there was little chance of getting back to sleep, Ron called Kim, "Hey, breakfast and get out on the slopes early?"

"What! I… You were going to sleep late."

"And miss time away from the most bon-diggety girl in the world? You love to ski."

"Fine… Great… I… Let me have a little time to get myself together and I'll come by your room when I'm ready, okay?"

"I, uh, would rather go to your room and get you."

"But you're closer to the dining room."

"I don't want you in the hall by yourself. There are handsome ski bums on the lookout for beautiful young women walking all alone."

Kim giggled, "Are you worried that I can't handle myself if one asks me out or that I might say yes if one asks me out?"

"Uh, can I plead the sixth?"

"The sixth… Sixth Amendment? Do you mean the fifth?"

"Isn't a fifth a liquor bottle or something?"

"Are you okay Ron? You're acting kind of weird, like when you've been around Drakken."

"I'm fine, KP," he laughed nervously. "No Drakken. I… Please, don't come to my room – let me come by yours. How long do you need? Fifteen minutes? Twenty?"

"I… Twenty minutes would be fine," Kim sighed. She quickly texted Shego, "Ron up early. Wants breakfast 20 minutes. You done eating?"

Shego frowned at the sound of her phone. Joe was just sitting down across from her in the dining room, "Can you ignore that?" he asked.

"Love to," she told him and made an air kiss, "but it might be important." "Bloody hell," she murmured when she saw the message.

"What is it?" he asked as she frantically texted Kim, 'Just sitting down. Stall a little. You should have worn him out last night.'

"Nothing that's going to ruin our day," she assured him. "Let's eat. I want to get out on the slopes." She dug into the scrambled eggs.

"Don't eat so fast," he warned. "The mountains will still be there when we're done with breakfast."

Ron caught a glimpse of a shapely woman in a green and black outfit leaving as he and Kim entered the dining room. He started, wondering if he'd seen Shego. Kim pulled him back to reality, "There's a good spot!" She pointed to the opposite side of the dining room and hoped he had not noticed Shego leaving as they came in.

"Yeah… I… Great spot." There were two women in the dining room wearing green and black outfits. All the skiers looked fit. He took a deep breath. Maybe talking with Drakken had put the idea of Shego in his mind. Maybe he'd seen Shego, maybe hadn't. He just hoped that, if Shego was at the resort, she and Kim didn't run into each other and start fighting. The two had worked together twice when they needed to, but without a common cause for a truce they were sure to get violent.

As Ron and Kim ate their breakfasts a thought went through Ron's mind, _"I wonder if I should have told Drakken about the webcam?"_

In Middleton a father, curious about whether his son had chosen to sleep late or was up unusually early to spend the day skiing with his girlfriend checked the image sent from a web camera. "Honey?"

"Yes, Dear?"

"Why is there an ugly woman in our son's room."

"Don't say ugly. Say plain. Is Ron there?"

"Thankfully, no."

"It's probably the maid cleaning up."

"She's adjusting her boobs in front of the mirror."

"Turn off that computer!"


	3. Shading the Truce

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 3 - Shading the Truce**

After looking over the slopes Ron decided he would skip the bunny slopes and start on the intermediate. Kim skied two of them with him, then he urged her to try the more advanced slopes and they would meet for lunch.

At noon Shego and Joe left skiing to eat at Tio Bob's. Joe looked across the table at Shego and smiled as they waited for their food. "I've got to be the luckiest man in the world."

"Probably," she agreed. "So, what exactly do you tell them in your office - when you're in your office and not in the field doing something exciting?"

"You don't think paperwork is exciting? The thrill of adding up your receipts and having the total balance your expense report? I told 'em I was spending the weekend with an incredibly gorgeous, hot woman."

Shego laughed, "And they believed you?"

"Well, they called me a lying bastard and demanded a picture for proof."

"Umm," Shego purred, "when we make love tonight I could claw your back when you bring me to an incredible orgasm, think the scratches would be proof enough for them?"

"They'd accuse me of doing it to myself. I say I won't show 'em a picture 'cause I don't want them to find out who you are - afraid one of the handsome guys would try to steal you from me."

"So... How handsome are they?" She teased as their food arrived.

He quickly speared a bite-sized portion from her plate with his fork and held it up to her lips. "Handsome guys rely on their looks," he explained as she took the bite offered and chewed. "We ugly guys know you have to pay attention to what a woman wants."

She swallowed and returned the favor, offering him a bite from his plate on her fork, "Maybe," she agreed. "And if we ever make it to a fancy dinner party together I don't have to worry about all the other women trying to steal you away from me?"

He chuckled at the thought and swallowed. "No, but the guys are looking at me and wondering if they'd have a chance with you if you're there with someone as ugly as me."

They kept talking and feeding each other, leaning closer and closer until their foreheads were almost touching. "You know," he commented between bites, "at this rate it will be more than an hour before we're back on the slopes."

"You got a problem with that?" she asked, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Guess not," he admitted.

* * *

Ron snacked on an empanada and texted Drakken, 'Luck finding Shego?'

The blue man's text read, 'No one around.'

'Ski retort,' Ron texted back, 'probably out skiing.'

Kim found Ron at their agreed rendezvous at the Ski Box at the bottom of the Las Lomas run. "Ready for lunch?"

"I've got a better idea."

"A better idea than lunch? Okay, what did you do to the real Ron?"

"A better idea than here."

"Oh, don't like the food?"

"Nah, it's good. I had an empanada while I waiting. But some guy told me about a place at the top of the Plateau lift, more like a real restaurant, called Tio Bob's."

"So you're saying..."

"Let's eat lunch there."

"Ron, I was checking out the ski trails. That's at the start of one of the expert runs, the Cóndor I think. I don't think you're ready for an expert run."

He shrugged, "I can take the lift down after lunch."

"People don't take the lift down."

"You'd rather I tried an expert run?"

"No, I... Maybe the food isn't that good up there. You said the empanada was good here."

"Probably just as good up there, and I hear the view is incredible, come on KP."

"I... Uh... Watch my skis a minute. I need to use the ladies room."

* * *

"Can you ignore it, or turn the damn thing off?" Joe whispered in Shego's ear when her phone announced an in-coming message.

"Love to, but it might be important."

"How many people have your number anyway?"

"Too damn many," Shego grumbled. She held her phone so Joe couldn't read the screen. The message from Kim read, 'Ron wants lunch Tio Bob's. Start up 5 min. Hope you done.' She quickly typed, 'Almost. Stall as possible.' She looked up at Joe and sighed, "Well, that killed the mood. Let's head back to the slopes."

"I was hoping for dessert," he pouted.

She grabbed the front of his ski jacket, pulled him close and gave him a hard kiss. "Dessert tonight," she said after letting go, "and don't you forget it."

"I didn't think you liked skiing this much," he said outside as they fastened their skis back on.

"I don't, but I love watching you and your Olympic form going downhill."

"Told you, I just tried out for the Olympic team. I wasn't even close."

"When I tell the story you'll be the best skier on the team."

As Ron and Kim rode the lift he watched the skiers below, wondering if he wanted to try the Cóndor run and trying to decide if the chance of impressing Kim by going down the expert slope outweighed the chance of doing serious bodily injury to himself if he failed. He stared hard at a couple going down the mountainside. He thought it was the woman he had seen in the dining room that morning, the man with her - dressed in red and white - was an impressive skier. He quickly ran through all the villains he knew who might be trying to hire the green woman and who might ski well.

Kim caught him staring. "I know what you're thinking."

Her voice jerked him back to reality, "What?"

"It's the green and black suit. Put me in a green-and-black ski suit and you'd think I looked like Shego."

"Yeah, heh, heh," Ron laughed nervously. _"Can't let Kim know Shego is here."_

"Now, instead of looking at her - give me a kiss." _"Can't let him know Shego is here."_

The view at Tio Bob's was as wonderful as Ron had heard, if it weren't for a nagging voice in the back of her mind reminding her that Shego would probably be angry for the interruption Kim would have enjoyed it tremendously.

The two of them skied all the intermediate runs together that afternoon then Ron encouraged her to go back and try a couple of the expert runs while there was still light. "I'll keep practicing on these. Maybe we can try some of the advanced slopes tomorrow."

"You're sure? I don't mind staying with you."

"Hey, you love to ski. We'll meet at the Ski Box when we're done. If you finish first try an empanada, I'm sure gonna have another one and a beer if I'm done first." She opened her mouth to protest. He knew what was coming. "One beer," he said firmly, "does not make me a drunk. It would probably not even make a difference in my skiing, but I'm not going to have one until I am done. It will just help me to relax. You're awfully uptight, KP, maybe you should try a glass of wine with dinner."

"I... I am a little tense," she admitted.

"See. You had a couple glasses of wine with Shego that time, you can have one with me during dinner."

"Maybe," she sighed.

"You don't have to," Ron said. "But it might help you relax a little. That's all I want - for you to have a good time."

She smiled, "You're sweet," and kissed him.

"Now, go forth and conquer the big runs," he ordered and pointed up the mountains before turning and heading back to one of the intermediate slopes.

The VTOL craft landed with a jolt a few hundred meters from the ski resort. Kim was on a run facing in another direction and too busy with a tricky slope to notice, but Ron stared at the plane instead of the slope until he crashed into a tree and lost interest. He assumed Drakken's nemesis was on board - the villain who wanted to hire Shego.

* * *

"That was a terrible landing," the woman with the oddly dyed hair told the pilot.

"Sorry, Auntie," Motor Ed apologized. "I haven't finished the mail-order course on flying. Turns out its harder than driving a car."

"Now, let's find Drewbie and that... that hussy. I can't believe he would... with her. I mean, he could do so much better."

_"No way in hell could ol' Drew do better than the green gal."_ "Ya know, it might be innocent." _"Like, they're here to steal something."_

"Then why wouldn't he tell his mother where he was going?"

Kim came within thirty meters of Shego and Joe once during the afternoon. The two women didn't speak, but nodded slightly to acknowledge the other's presence.

The redhead smiled as she went down the mountainside, this trip was incredible - and Ron had thought it up and planned it all on his own. After Shego's less-than-subtle hint Ron really had stepped up his game. She needed to show him how much this meant to her... How much he meant to her... What could she do to show him... Maybe she should find him and stick with him on the easier slopes. Maybe she could drop that towel over the webcam after a quick shower before dinner and 'forget' it was there and invite him back to her room after they ate... Was that really what she wanted? Part of her was clearly saying yes. Part of her was saying no.

* * *

"There are no rooms available in the main lodge," the desk clerk repeated to the odd couple in front of him.

"Ya know, if you just let us check the register for her son we might get out of your face," the huge man told him in a threatening voice.

"I can't do that either," the clerk protested.

"Where is the register, anyway?" Ed asked. He'd just take it from the little man and look through it for himself.

"There isn't a physical register anymore. It's all on computer."

"He's my son! I need to see him!"

"If you will tell me his name I will see what room he is registered in."

"Theodore Lipsky."

Hearing his name Drakken jerked around and stared in the direction of the front desk. Shocked at the sight of his mother and Motor Ed he quickly turned back around._ "Mustn't let them see me."_ He needed a drink to calm his nerves. He tried to signal the cocktail waitress to freshen his drink, but she was unable to see the middle-aged woman sitting in the lounge area.

Hoping for a revelation Kim stayed out on the slopes until dusk threatened to make skiing dangerous. Joe and Shego, tired from skiing hard all day, went back to the resort earlier. Since there was no message from Kim the green woman texted. 'Joe and I done 4 day. Get buffoon to nail time to eat and where, no more surprises.'

Shego looked over at Joe, "How you feeling?"

"Stiff and sore, haven't skied that hard in one day for years."

"Do I get any credit for the stiff part?" she pouted.

"Okay... And some blame for the sore part too. How are you doing?"

"Well, I may have overdone too. Maybe I'll hit the spa for a massage before dinner. Sound good to you?"

"I'll just soak in a hot tub."

"Relax your sore muscles, dinner, then back here and I'll take care of anything that's still stiff?"

He laughed, "You're insatiable."

Shego had a sudden thought. Time in the spa meant that Kim and Ron could eat now. She should text Kim with her location. She quickly typed 'spa' and hit send.

"Sounds like you got another text, KP."

"Yeah better check it."

"Then we'll eat I'm starving."

Kim looked at the note, 'spa'. _"Shego probably wants to eat and is telling me to stall by going to the spa."_

"Dinner?" Ron asked.

"In a little while. I think I'd like to go to the spa for a massage. You want to come?"

"Nah, I'll get a little snack and rest a little. Give my room a calls when you're done." _"I need to see what Drakken's doing. Then maybe I'll soak in the hot tub, man that tree hurt when it attacked me."_


	4. The Truce Shall Make You Free

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 4 -** **The Truce Shall Make You Free, But First It Shall Make You Angry**

Ron had a soda at the bar. He didn't want Kim worrying he'd become an alcoholic. As he sipped the cola a huge man walked up and ordered tequila.

Drink in hand Ed slowly scanned the bar.

_"Motor Ed's trying to hire Shego away from Drakken?"_ Ron wondered.

The big man saw Ron and his face took on a puzzled look, as if he were trying to remember something and was out of practice using his brain. He took a step in Ron's direction and Ron prepared to run in terror.

Just then a short woman entered the bar, "You-who! Eddie!"

"Yes, auntie?"

"Have you found Drewbie?"

"Not yet."

He looked again at Ron, "Yo, Dude, hablo English?"

"I'm an American."

"You look familiar."

"Canadian! I mean I'm a Canadian."

"Oh, you speak English real good for a foreigner."

"Uh, thanks."

"Lookin' for my cuz, blue dude. Might have been with a green chick who was," Motor Ed gestured with his hands, a voluptuous feminine shape. "Seen 'em?"

"No... Think I'd remember her if I had."

"Sure would," Ed laughed. "You look kinda familiar."

"I, uh, get that a lot. I need to... um... get back to my room."

Ron hurried back to his room, he looked around in hopes of seeing Drakken, but the room appeared empty.

"Is that you?" a voice asked from beneath the bed.

"I'm pretty sure I'm me. Motor Ed is here looking for you, Ed and some crazy looking lady."

"You watch what you say about my mother."

"Your mother?"

"Yes."

"Would your mother be trying to hire Shego?"

"She's not... I don't think she... No, I'm sure she's not. She must have stopped by my lair and some henchman told her I'd gone to Chile with Shego. She doesn't approve of Shego and probably assumed... Well, anyway. I sure she wouldn't hire Shego."

"Why are you under the bed?"

"You're in a foreign country. You're in a dress. Your mother arrives looking for you. Where do you go?"

"Under a bed. What are you going to do?"

"Put on pants and see my mother."

"Please tell me you're not under my bed naked."

"I'm not naked. I'm still in disguise. I meant change into pants. I'll tell mom I'm here on business. Ed's the problem. I'm certain he has a crush on Shego, which is probably why he agreed to bring her down here. I need to get rid of him. If Shego sees him she'll know I know she's here, and she'll be careful so I don't learn who wants to hire her. But if I know she knows that I know that she knows... Where was I?"

"I forget. You started to say something about Ed."

"Right. What can I tell Ed to get rid of him?"

"Can you tell him you've got the measles?"

"No, he's had the measles."

"Um... If I think of something I'll let you know. I'm going out to a hot tub."

"Can you wait a minute? I have an idea I want to bounce off you."

"I want to soak. Come out and see me if you think of something."

Ron walked out onto the deck. There was space for him a couple of the hot tubs, but as he checked out his options a man relaxing in one, eyes closed, looked familiar. The teen went over and cautious asked, "Joe?"

The man in the tub opened his eyes. "I... Ron?" the Canadian agent asked.

"Hey, haven't seen you in... I'm pretty sure it's years. What are you doing here?"

"Do you mean relaxing in the hot tub or the fact I'm at a ski resort? I'm not here for snorkeling."

"Sorry, I guess I mean is this business or pleasure for you - you know, secret agent stuff." _"I'll bet he's here to find whoever is trying to hire Shego... Could he be looking for Shego? Drakken?"_

The older man laughed, "You know the standard secret agent answer, right?"

Ron settled down on the bench beside Joe in the tub. "Is that the one where if you tell me you have to kill me, or the one where if you tell me I have to marry you?"

"That's a joke, right?" Joe changed the subject. "Here alone?"

"No, Kim and I started dating and-"

"Kim's here too?"

"Yeah, she's getting a massage in the spa right now."

Things suddenly clicked into place. The text messages Shego had received were from Kim, the two women were playing a joke at his expense and Ron's. He didn't like being played for a fool. His anger made him unprepared for Ron's hand on his head, shoving him under the water and holding him down.

Ron gestured wildly with his free hand for a middle-aged woman to leave. "Go away," Ron hissed and pointed to the hand under water. "Trouble!"

Drakken had no idea why he was being warned away. Perhaps Ron had found the villain trying to hire Shego away from him. Not wanting to confront his rival while wearing a dress, and one several years out-of-fashion at that, Drakken turned and scurried away as Joe knocked Ron's hand aside and emerged from the warm water sputtering and shaking water from his eyes.

"What in the hell were you doing?"

"I thought I saw a villain. I mean, you don't have a gun on you and you'd-"

"Who did you think you saw?"

"Motor Ed. He's really big guy with a mullet. If you tell me who you're looking for maybe I can help."

"I'm not looking for any criminals," Joe said in a clipped tone - his anger stripping away his civility. "I don't know a Motor Ed. I'm here to relax, not get drowned."

"Sorry... I'm just so used to trouble wherever Kim and I go that I thought I... Sorry."

The Canadian tried to get his temper under control. This wasn't Ron's fault. "No, I'm sorry... Look, I've got a headache and I'm in a really foul mood. I'm going back to my room. Maybe I'll see you later."

* * *

"No, I was telling you I was going to the spa," Shego snarled at Kim.

"Sorry, I thought you were suggesting I come here."

"Did I say... Never mind. What's Doofus doing?"

"Ron was going to take it easy. What's Joe doing?"

"He's resting too. With any luck they won't run into each other."

"Hope not. Hey, can I talk with you later... Privately?"

"You know, I'm a little pissed with you and Ron for messing up my–"

"Please?" Kim pleaded, her lower lip trembling and her eyes looking like she was ready to cry. "It wasn't my idea to interrupt."

"Gah! Turn off your damn puppy dog pout."

"Can we talk later?"

"Fine."

* * *

The anger that Joe tried to hide from Ron was clearly visible on him when Shego arrived at the room. "I'm starved," she told him, "I... What's wrong?"

"While you were in the spa I ran into Ron Stoppable."

"Sorry you saw him. I'll admit, he's something of a doofus, but I don't know why it should upset you."

"You don't, huh? So, you admit you knew he was here - and you didn't tell me."

Shego seemed puzzled, "That's true. I still don't get it."

"Can I assume that the texts you were getting have been from Kim Possible?"

"Hey, you're not pissed off with her are you? We were just trying to keep you and Ron from running into each other."

"So, you admit it."

"Admit what, dammit?" Shego asked in frustration. "What is wrong with you?"

"I don't like being played for a fool," he snapped. Shego said nothing, simply staring in disbelief. "You and Kim, playing your little game of making Ron and me look stupid." She continued to stare. "Well," he demanded, "are you going to say anything?"

She tried for a couple seconds to bring her own anger under control, then screamed, "You idiot!"

"Angry 'cause you got caught?"

"Kim and I didn't want you to get in trouble for being here with me," Shego said, literally shaking with anger and frustration. "We wanted you to relax and enjoy yourself, without any worries. And if you're too stupid to appreciate that I am out of here." She turned to go.

She got two steps toward the door when her words sank in. He was angry because he thought she was playing with his feeling. But she had been trying to preserve his reputation. He was not simply wrong, he was a world class jerk. "Stop," he ordered

"No," she told him over her shoulder. "I don't have to put up with this."

He was up from the chair and moving as fast as he could. "Please, stop."

Her hand was on the doorknob and she started to open the door when he reached her and threw his arms around her. With his left foot he kicked the door closed. "Let go of me!" she threatened.

"Not 'til we talk. Not 'til I have a chance to apologize." She was still trembling. He held her tighter. "Please," he begged. "Please... I... Don't walk out on me. You were trying to protect me?"

"Yes. And I sure as hell don't know why."

"I'm an idiot. I should have talked with you first. I'm sorry."

"You should have... You have a really lousy opinion of me don't you? You really think I would treat you like that?" Suddenly Shego felt weak. She realized this was the real reason she felt so angry - not because of what he had actually said, but because it indicated he didn't trust her. She wondered why that hurt so much. They were here to ski and have fun. What did she care what the stupid son-of-bitch thought of her? He didn't trust her. And why was she crying? And why did if feel so good to have his arms around her?

He held the trembling woman and softly repeated over and over, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." She gradually regained control. "Can we sit down?" he suggested.

"No... Not yet... Hold me another minute. I..." Shego suddenly realized why his opinion mattered so much to her, and why it felt so good to be in his arms. And it scared her very much.

"Please, tell me you forgive me."

"How could you accuse me of that! Without talking to me?"

"I'm a man. I'm an idiot. I was afraid you were just playing... That I didn't... Please, tell me you'll forgive me." He began to gently rub her back. "I was wrong."

Shego's emotions were in chaos inside her. Part of her was still angry from his earlier accusation, and part of her enjoyed being in his arms and hearing him beg her to forgive him as if it were the most important thing in the world to him. She needed a few minutes away from him to sort things out in her mind. "I need to get away and think for a few minutes. You'll have to let go."

"I'm not letting go of you until you forgive me."

"I need a little time to calm down. I'm just-" Shego's cell phone alerted her to an incoming text message. "I need to take that, Kim wanted to talk."

"Don't look at it. I'm not letting you go until you forgive me."

"And it could be Princess saying Ron has your room number and is on his way to say hi. I need to get away for a few minutes. Let me see what she wants."

"Not until you forgive me."

"Look, the one thing I know for certain is that you you don't listen to me right now I'll–" He dropped his arms and Shego picked up her phone. "Ron found uot Joe's here. Can u talk now? I REALLY need to talk w/ you if you can." Shego called Kim, "Really bad time Pumpkin. I'm kind of busy here."

"When can we talk?" Kim asked.

"This about Ron seeing Joe?"

"No, this is what I mentioned at the spa."

Shego sighed, "Actually, I need a couple minutes breathing space from the big Canuck. Will this take long?"

"Twenty minutes?"

"Okay. Twenty minutes. Meet at the bar?"

"Come to my room, please. I told you, it's really private."

"Give me your room number."

As the call with Kim ended Joe insisted, "You need to stay here. You haven't forgiven me yet."

"And I told you, I need a minute to think. I'm going to see Kim."

He didn't want to let her go. "I don't want you leaving when you're upset. I'm scared maybe you won't come back."

"I'm a little calmer now," she assured him. "You're really sorry?"

"Yes. Please, stay."

"Look, I'm probably over it on an intellectual level, but the adrenaline's still pumping. There's still a chance I'll hit someone. I need a couple minutes away from you to calm down... And if I hit someone it'll be her instead of you."

"You're not really planning to hit her, are you?"

"No. Listening to her will... Let me give you her room number. I'll expect you in twenty - twenty-five minutes. Maybe I'll be in a mood to forgive then."

"I hope so," he murmured and kissed her softly on the cheek before she left.

Kim answered the door as soon as Shego knocked, and almost pulled the older woman into the room, "You've got to help me."

"Help you? Help you how?"

"I think maybe this is the time... The time with Ron to... That Ron and I..."

"You want to screw him?"

"Don't say it that way. Is this the right time to make love? He's been so wonderful lately and I... I want to show him how much I... How do I know if it's the time? What do I say to him?"

"I can assume that telling him, 'Let's fuck' is out."

"Shego!" Kim protested, blushing red. "I don't know what I want to do. I wanted to talk with you, kinda get an idea... Do I really... And how do I..."

"On that, 'How do you' question I assume that you want to know how you bring up the subject and not how the parts line up."

"Right."

"Well, you might start by-"

"My first question. What do I want to do? Is this right?"

"Pumpkin, this guy has been your best friend since you were four. You've been dating for a year. He just brought you to a fancy resort. You don't owe him sex, but the fact you're talking with me says you want this to happen - right?"

"I guess... Yeah... I mean, yes. Yes I do."

"Good. We got the first issue clear. Oh, after I'm done straightening out your life I need to talk with you about mine."

"Okay. Second question for me, the how?"

"You're a virgin, so you're going to... Know if Ron is still an amateur or if he's got a little experience?"

"I... I don't really know... There were a couple girls he's dated and... I don't know."

"Be easier if he has some experience - better for you too. If you're both virgins there's going to be a lot of fumbling around and not a lot of fun the first time - but it gets much, much better with practice... Oh, got any baby oil or lotion or something else for lubrication? If you don't - go to that little pharmacy and pick something up, trust me."

"But how do I tell him I'm... uh... interested?"

"Well, given how repressed you are you aren't going to say much directly... By the way, you do realize there are several things you can do for him that will be absolutely wonderful without giving up your cherry. Hand-job, dry hump, even a little most of your clothes off fooling around... Is this really what you want?"

"I think so, you made me admit that - don't try to talk me out of it now."

"Okay, you're going to give him escalating hints until he catches on. Please tell you kiss the guy."

"Yes."

"Open mouthed tongue-wrestling?"

Kim blushed, "Yes."

"How much groping?"

"Shego!"

"Okay, we've established your current limit. Next time you're kissing, take his hand, like this," the green woman said, "and put it up on your boobs, like this," Shego demonstrated, "and it might be all the hint he needs. If it isn't enough-"

Kim's phone began to ring. "Mom's ring tone," Kim explained and reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Kim, please remember there is a webcam on in your room. And why are you groping Shego's breast?"

Kim looked at the webcam, "I'll put a towel over-"

"You will please leave it uncovered for the conversation. Now, are you trying to restart the rumor about you and Shego being lovers?"

"No, see I was talking with Shego and she..."

"Talking about what? There's no microphone, remember? I happened to–"

Shego took the phone from Kim. "Anne always wonderful to hear from you. Is that a webcam on the dresser that she didn't tell me about?"

"I said yesterday there was a cam!" Kim hissed.

"Did you hear that?" Shego asked Anne.

"There's no microphone."

"She claims she warned me. So, you're suspecting Pumpkin here is up to something with the boyfriend?"

"Kim can make her own choices. James is over-protective and insisted on the camera. He asked me to take a quick look and imagine my surprise to see you in the room. May I ask what's happening?"

"Kim had some questions about sex, and since you're a mother and surgeon she needed the real scoop - so she asked me."

"What!"

"Your daughter is terribly repressed. She was wondering about kicking it up a notch with Ron and–"

"Kicking it up a notch?"

"Do you have any idea just how backwards she is? Anyway, I was telling her how to let Ron know it was okay to cop a feel."

"And that's all you were doing?"

"Swear to God... Hey, since I got you on the line, I got my own problem. I was gong to spill my guts to princess here but she's probably too naive to be any help at all."

"What is your problem?"

Shego hesitated, looking for words. Finally she simply blurted out, "My problem... I think I'm falling in love."

"Please tell me it's not with Kim."

"Not with Kim. She is so not my type. Did she tell you that she set me up on a blind date while we were in Asia?"

"Yes... She didn't give me a name - just said it was a man she had met while doing her hero work. Is that who you think you're falling in love with?"

"Yes."

"That's wonderful."

"That's terrible."

"Why is it terrible?"

"He's in law enforcement. I'm a criminal. I'm not good enough for him."

"Stop that, young lady. Criminal and thief is your job it is not who you are."

"I don't understand."

"You are a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, caring woman - and you're good enough for any man."

"But-"

"Repeat it after me. I am a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, caring woman - and I'm good enough for any man."

"I am a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, caring woman - and I'm good enough for any man."

"Again, and say it like you mean it."

"I am a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, caring woman - and I'm good enough for any man, dammit."

"I didn't tell you to say dammit."

"I know. I threw that in for free. I think I understand why Kim is the way she is."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't a compliment. I think you're both nuts."

In Middleton Anne Possible smiled, "And from you that is a compliment."

"Hey, I don't have to take that from you. I am a beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, caring woman – and I'm good enough for any man."

"Yes you are. And tell Kim to be careful - and put a towel over the webcam if she's going to 'kick it up a notch' with Ron – or several notches. Did you tell her about lubrication?"

"Already got it covered."

"Good. Stress the careful. This is supposed to be an encrypted line so Wade and I are the only people who can theoretically receive the image - but less visual aids, please, just in case. Oh, and the two of you will look terribly guilty if you cover it now."

"Got it."

"You can finish your conversation with Kim now."

"Okay, I... Hey, thanks for listening."

"No problem - it's in the job description of mother and surgeon."

Shego had been too intent on the conversation with Dr. Possible to notice the way Kim was fidgeting. "You love Joe?" Kim asked, clearly excited as the green woman ended the phone call.

"Maybe. Don't know."

"You told my mom you did."

"I told your mom maybe I did. It's not the same."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not. And it messes everything up."

"How does love mess things up?"

Shego flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. "I wanted to go out 'cause I needed to get laid. He's good. So we went out again... And again... and here we are... And I've got visions of a little cottage with a white picket fence. A thing like that can screw up your concentration. I don't need that in my line of work. And..."

"And what?"

"Does he love me, or is this just sex for him? I mean, we were clear with each other from the start. We knew a long term relationship... Why am I spilling my guts out to you?"

"Because I'm your honorary sister, and you need someone to talk to. Hey, you should have waited until you decided you loved the guy first - like I waited until I knew Ron was the one."

"Sis, you're eighteen. You don't know the future. Seven years from now you and Ron could be married to two different people neither of you has even met yet. You've decided that you love him – now – and you want to move on to the next step – now. Well I'm not sure if I want to move on to the next step with Joe. I mean, sure the sex is great but do I... Does he love me?"

"I have a badical idea."

"What?"

"You might try talking with him."

"No way."

"Maybe he feels the same way you do."

"Maybe he doesn't... Hey, he knows you. You ask him."

"Me?"

"Sure... I mean, sometime when boyfriend isn't around the three of us will be talking somewhere and I'll leave to powder my nose or something and you'll casually turn to Joe and ask how things are going for the two of us."

"Subtle as a ton of bricks there."

"I don't want subtly, I want answers."

"And what will you do with his answer?"

"Hey, I'm still working on the question. Get me an answer and it will help me get the right question." She looked at her watch. "I told him to be here in about five minutes. That'll give me time to tell you what to do if big hint number one doesn't work with Ron. If he doesn't respond by big hint number six he's gay."

Seven minutes later there was a knock on the door and a male voice asked, "What's going on?"

"Don't let him get on the camera," Shego warned as Kim stood to answer the door.

Kim adjusted the camera slightly as she walked past. "Got a webcam on, Shego doesn't want you on it with her."

"That's okay. I want to know when I can have her back."

"Anytime. I just needed to talk with her. Sorry about the mix-ups today. We thought it would be better if you-"

"Hey, Joe!" Ron's voice rang down the corridor, "how's the headache? You found KP."

Kim glanced back into the room quickly enough to see that Shego had heard and gone off the far side of the bed.

"Yeah," Joe told him. "After you said the two of you were here I asked for her room number at the desk. Just thought I'd stop and say hi."

"It was great to see you," Kim added.

"Want to eat dinner with us?" Ron asked, then protested, "Hey, KP, you should ask us into your room so we could decide about dinner," as she stepped into the hallway and closed the door of her room behind her.

"I'm hungry now," she told him. "Let's eat. Joe, you can come with us - if you don't have other plans."

"I... uh... You know what they say, two's company and three's a crowd."

"No, really, no problem," Ron assured him. "We'd love to have you - catch up on what we've been doing and-"

"Maybe he _has other plans_," Kim repeated with emphasis.

"Um, yeah," Joe laughed nervously. "Your girlfriend figured me out," he told Ron. "I was skiing with this really hot woman today and was planning to-"

"You could both eat with us," Ron invited.

"That's, uh, nice, but... Uh, where will you be eating... Just in case I-"

"Maybe he wants a nice romantic dinner with just the two of them," Kim told Ron. "And he's afraid he'd sound selfish so he's saying you and I should enjoy a nice romantic dinner for two. Is that it, Joe?"

The Canadian agent nodded.

"Where will we be eating?" Kim asked Ron.

"I thought we'd eat at the bar."

"Okay, well Joe knows where we'll be in case he changes his mind. And if he wants time with the woman he met, that's fine too. Everything's clear now." She turned to the older man, "We'll keep you posted on what we're doing tomorrow. Maybe we'll see you. If you want to keep her under wraps we'll understand. I mean, who knows, maybe she could be the one."

"Don't embarrass the guy," Ron whispered loudly. "He just met her. Don't play matchmaker."

Joe looked at Kim, "She seems special. I'm hoping to see more of her." He then leaned over and whispered something in Ron's ear.

"No way," Ron exclaimed.

"Well, have fun at dinner," Joe said and headed in the direction opposite the bar.

"What did he say to you?" Kim asked as they walked down the hall.

"He told me not to let go of you. And I said no way."

"Ron?'

"Yes"

"Put your arm around me."

"Sorry," he apologized and pulled her close.

"Much better," she assured him.

Joe knocked on the door to Kim's room, "They're gone." She stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind her. "Am I forgiven yet?"

Shego smiled, "Not yet. But closer

Kim ordered a glass of wine with dinner, hoping it would help her relax.

As they ate Ron confessed, "I think there's a chance Joe might be here on business."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a chance Shego is here, maybe with some villain and Joe may be on an assignment."

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, I thought I saw her today."

"You saw a woman in green-and-black."

"I, uh, have sources that said she might be here."

"What sources?"

"One's confidential. I really can't tell you. But I saw Motor Ed today and he was looking for her."

"Motor Ed?"

"For sure. So, I'm guessing Shego's here. I hope there's not going to be a fight."

"Ron, you brought me here so we could be together. You're what's important to me. We are not here to fight Shego or anyone else. We are here to relax and enjoy ourselves. Forget about Shego."

"But Joe's our friend! What if he's trying to stop Shego? He can't handle her."

"Don't underestimate Joe. I'll bet he can handle Shego just fine if he sees her."

"She's tough. She beats you sometimes."

"Shego doesn't... Tell you what. I'll tell Joe that if he needs any help handling Shego I'll volunteer. Is that good enough? Can we stop talking about Shego now? I'd much rather just talk about us."

Kim hoped a glass of wine might help her relax the way Ron had suggested, but it didn't work. She hated the taste of the wine. Ron said he'd ordered something sweet but it didn't taste sweet to her. She had a second glass, hoping that she would become more accustomed to the taste.

"You really hate it don't you?" Ron asked as she set the glass down.

"No, I... That obvious? I thought you said it was sweet."

Kim's second glass was still about half-full. Ron reached over and took it to sample. "Yep, sweet."

"Well it doesn't taste sweet to me."

"Not supposed to be like soda or... Really didn't help you to relax either, did it. You look unhappy."

"I've got a little buzz. I feel like my brain is wrapped in cotton or something and only working at about eighty-four percent capacity. It is really annoying."

"Some people find that relaxing. I guess a control freak would-"

"I am not a control freak... Am I?"

"I mean, I love you, but... Yeah... Kinda. It's like, whenever Bonnie wanted to do anything different from what you wanted with the cheerleaders you always got bent out of shape over–"

"Bonnie was always wrong!" He said nothing, but cocked his head slightly to the side and raised an eyebrow in an expression of 'Really? Are you listening to yourself?' "Okay," she admitted. "I like to have things my own way. Don't we all?"

"Well, yeah. but some of us don't get so insistent about it."

She thought for a minute. "Do I take advantage of you? Do I make you do what I want to do too much?"

He grinned, "Some of us are natural born followers KP. I'll follow you anywhere."

"Have I told you in the last five minutes that I love you?"

"Not wearing my watch, but I'd guess at least six."

Kim leaned toward him, "Kiss me." As their lips met she thought, _"But I'm not getting into bed with you tonight - not when I've had anything to drink. I'm going to be completely sober when we make love."_ "How long does this last?"

"How long did it last when you were with Shego?"

"I don't know. We went back to our hotel and slept after dinner."

"It's been a long day. We can go to bed early, or stay up and catch another movie."

She smiled, "My brain isn't working at a hundred percent, and I need practice not being in control. You decide."

For a second he wondered if it was a test. "Check out what the movie is tonight. If we don't like it we can watch with my arm around you. If it's really bad we go back to our rooms and-"

"Or, if it's bad we can sit in the dark and kiss."

"That's what I mean, Kim, you're a natural leader."

"Wait, did I just decide after telling you it was your choice?"

"That's okay. Kissing you is a great idea." They leaned towards each other, lips ready to touch, and Ron's phone received a text.

Kim hesitated, "You'd better look at it."

"You're more important."

"You're sweet. But you don't know unless you look." She gave him a fast peck on the lips.

'Where are you?' the text demanded. 'And did you find who is trying to hire S? I need answers!'


	5. The Truce Is Never Pure and Simple

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

**The Truce Is Rarely Pure and Never Simple**

"Well, at least today I'll understand the texts, if you get any," Joe told Shego as they ate breakfast.

"I'm hoping yesterday tired Ron out, or Kim did last night, and we won't be disturbed during breakfast."

"Finishing a meal in peace sounds good."

"Yeah, I... Damn."

"Damn what? Did Ron come in?"

"No, an even bigger pain."

Motor Ed hurried toward the table where Shego and Joe were eating. "Hey, where you been keeping yourself?" he demanded.

Shego tried to ignore him. It was like trying to ignore a buffalo. He stood at the table, between the two eating breakfast, and repeated his question. "Knew you couldn't be with Drew. So why are you here?"

"It's a ski resort," she snorted, "think about it."

"Is he bothering you?" Joe asked.

Shego recognized the difference in size between the two men, "I can take care of him."

Ed glanced at Joe and snorted, "She needs to take care of you, huh?"

"No, I'm fine," Joe said in an even tone. "I just want to make sure you aren't bothering the lady."

Ed laughed, "She's no lady."

"I don't want any problem," Shego told the big man, "just go away."

"Is this the Motor Ed I heard mentioned?" Joe asked Shego, ignoring Ed.

"Heard of me, huh," Ed chuckled. He shoved a big finger toward Joe's face. "A little guy like you has–"

He didn't finish the sentence. Joe's hand grabbed Ed's wrist and twisted it very slightly. The big man managed to stifle the gasp of pain.

"Pressure point?" Shego asked nonchalantly.

"Yes."

Ed's eyes were filled with tears as he slowly sank to his knees. "Seems very effective," she commented. "Don't think I know that one."

"Not as good as the carotid artery. He could still attack me. I like it 'cause there's little chance of killing him by accident."

The man with the mullet didn't believe Joe, at least the attacking part. Ed wanted to take a swing at the man holding his wrist, but he had a deep-seated fear his arm might fall off if he made the attempt. He wondered if 'little chance of killing by accident' meant it was possible to kill someone on purpose with what the thin man was doing to him. It seemed unlikely, but couldn't rule it out based on the level of pain shooting through his arm.

"I mean, look at this guy," Joe told Shego, "he could probably break me in half if he wanted."

"Thanks, bro..." Ed groaned, "any chance you lettin' me go?"

"A dangerous man like you? I can't risk it."

"I'm, uh, not as tough as I look."

"Don't be modest," Joe assured him, "you could obviously annihilate me in a fair fight."

"Not wantin' a fight..." Ed gasped.

Two waiters came hurrying over to the table, "Is there a problem?" one asked.

"No," Joe assured him. "I believe my friend was leaving." He looked at Ed, "Right?"

"Yeah," he moaned, "just... leaving..."

The Canadian agent released his victim, who retreated from the dining room, gently rubbing his wrist to restore feeling.

"And now we finish breakfast in peace before hitting the slopes?" Joe asked cheerfully.

"Sounds great! I... Oh hell."

"What now? Do I need to defend your honor from another Hulk Hogan?"

"Where's my Drewbie?" the newcomer demanded.

"I don't know, Mrs. Lipsky," Shego sighed. "Wait, you mean he's here?"

"Of course he's here. Don't deny it! You've wanted to get your hooks in my boy since–"

Joe coughed to get attention, "Excuse me, but my fiancée and I are here to ski."

"Your fiancée?" Mrs. Lipsky asked, confused.

"Robert R. Roberts," Shego said, pointing to Joe, "Olympic gold medalist in the downhill and three time world-champion in–"

"Only two," Joe corrected her, "at least until the next competition."

"And what do you mean Drakken's here?"

"Don't pretend you didn't... You're here with Mr. Roberts?"

"Dr. Roberts," Joe corrected her, grinning.

"Canada's leading expert on maple sugar," Shego explained. She dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "the IOC will be testing athletes for evidence of syrup in their systems at the next Olympics. Very hush-hush."

Mama Lipsky's eyes went wide. "Oh, is that why... I won't tell a soul."

"And now Dr. Roberts... I mean, my fiancé and I are going out and skiing."

"Is he really your fiancé?" Mrs. Lipsky asked. "Or is that part of the cover story?"

"What paper was the announcement in, Dear?"

"The Ottawa Citizen, My Love," Joe reminded her. "Remember your promise, Mrs. Lipsky," Joe told her, offering Shego a hand to help her from the table, "mum's the word."

_"I can't wait to tell the girls at mah jong,"_ Drakken's mother thought as the couple left the dining room.

"Your life always this crazy?" Joe asked as they exited the lodge.

"Pretty much. Wonder if Drakken's really here? Maybe he saw us together and is trying to figure out who you are."

The agent shrugged, "Maybe. Maybe he's not here, she seems like a lady who might be confused."

"Yeah, hope so."

Kim called Ron's room to ask if he was awake.

"Awake, and sore," he groaned. "I feel worse today than when I hit the tree yesterday. I thought sleep was supposed to make me feel better."

"Sometimes when you stop moving the pain catches up with you; while you're sleeping your body decides you overdid more than you realized."

"I'm definitely overdone. Give me a half hour and we can eat breakfast. Maybe I'll try the hot tub again after we eat."

"Would a massage help?"

"I don't think the spa is open yet."

"Not the spa. Your girlfriend, who thinks you're wonderful, is offering to come down to your room and use her healing touch on your aches and pains. Would that make you feel better?"

"Boo-yah!"

"Can I take that as a yes?"

"Boo-YAH!"

Kim giggled. "I'll be there in a couple minutes."

"Great, I'll... Give me ten to make sure I'm decent."

"Okay."

As soon as he hung up Ron shouted at the closed bathroom door, "You got to get out of here. Kim's coming."

Drakken opened the door, lather on his face, "What?"

"Kim's coming to my room. You got to get out, fast. Are you going to wear your disguise?"

"Not with my mother around."

"Then hide the dress under the bed. I don't want Kim to find a dress in my room."

Seven minutes later Rufus looked out in the hall, then nodded to Drakken to show the coast was clear and the blue man exited the room with the best combination of stealth and speed he could manage.

As he snuck from one bit of whatever cover would protect him from prying eyes to another he tried to keep track of everyone he was trying to avoid. He did not want Shego to know he was spying on her, or would spy on her if he ever found her. He did not want whatever villain was trying to hire Shego away to see him. He did not want Kim Possible to discover he was at the lodge. He rubbed his cheek and noticed he was only half shaven in his speed to leave Ron's room. Even properly dressed he did not want his mother to see him, at least until he had some sort of story in mind to tell her for why he was here."

"There you are!" a cheerful voice sounded directly behind him caused him to jump. Drakken closed his eyes and a look of pain crossed his face. Of course his mother would find him before he had his story ready.

He tried to put on the happy face of a son delighted at being surprised rather than the guilty face of a son caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Mother. So good to see you. Why are you here?"

"Why am I here? I can't want to see my own son?"

"It was such a long way for you to travel."

"If you'd pick up the phone and call more often I wouldn't have to come looking for you."

"But you still haven't told me why you're here."

"Yes I did, I said I was looking for you. You think I'd schlep down here if I wasn't looking for you?"

"No, what I mean is, why were you looking for me?"

"Oh, Shirley... Do you remember Shirley? I play mahjong with her. Wednesday afternoons at the Civic Center. The new Civic Center. They tore down the old one two years ago after the health inspector closed the Chinese restaurant next door – said he'd never seen so many violations. I don't know... Their egg drop soup always tasted fine to me. Not as good as the egg drop soup over at Lo Fat's. That was the best egg drop soup in town. I don't know why he sold it. Oh, I'm sure it's the old real estate thing – location, location, location. But that chain pizza place they put in instead? They should have never sold Lo Fat's. The cheese on their pizza? Feh! They have such nerve calling that cheese. When I was a girl–"

"Shirley, Mother," Drakken reminded her through gritted teeth.

"Surely what?"

"Your friend Shirley. You were going to tell me why you're here."

"Oh, you're taking her daughter, Ellen, to the Fishmann wedding."

"Ellen? Who are the Fishmanns?"

"Lisa Fishmann, Shirley's neighbor. Her daughter Beatrice is marrying a Berger. The Bergers are from Philadelphia and its going to be some fancy-schmantzy wedding. Ellen is coming all the home from Portland for the wedding. Ellen and Beatrice are best friends, but it still seems like a lot of travel for a third wedding. It's the third wedding for Beatrice. Ellen isn't married. And Shirley said, "Oy, if there was only some nice man to take my Ellen to the Fishmann wedding." And I mentioned my very successful son might be available to escort the lovely Ellen to the wedding. The wedding will be beautiful. They're having it catered by Irv's Deli. You always loved the pickles from Irv's. I don't know if they'll have the pickles at the wedding, but I'm–"

"And you flew down to Chile to tell me I was taking this Ellen to a wedding?"

"Of course not. I had your cousin Edward drive me out to your lab to tell you you were taking Ellen to the wedding. Honestly, would it hurt so much to pick up the phone and talk your mother every now and then?"

"I'll try and do better. But why are you in Chile?"

"Because you're here."

"Do you have any aspirin in your purse?"

"Why, do you have a headache?"

"I will in a minute. You went to my lair... I mean, my lab, why come down here?"

"Because one of your nice employees said... He needed a shave. I think they take advantage of you when you're gone. It's very important to look... You didn't shave very well this morning yourself."

"The mirror was fogged over. So, you heard I was here, and you came to Chile?"

"Well, the man at your lab – the one who should have had a better shave, said you were down here with that assistant you have and, well, I couldn't believe it. You could do so much better, and–"

"If you couldn't believe it you wouldn't be here. Admit it, mother, you assumed the worst. My relationship with my assistant is purely professional."

"And I know that now. I'm sorry I doubted you. I saw her at breakfast with her fiancé and she told me why you were here. At first they claimed they were just here to ski, but then they told me why you're here. Don't worry, I won't tell a soul... Except maybe Shirley and the other girls at 'jong."

"Wait a minute, fiancé?"

"Doctor Roberts. He seemed like a nice man. I'm a little surprised she could snag a doctor, but there's no accounting for tastes said the old lady as she kissed the cow."

"Could you describe Doctor Roberts? Was he short? Was he hairy? What did he look like?"

"How many Doctor Roberts do you have at the meeting here? The maple syrup Doctor Roberts."

"Um, yes," Drakken laughed nervously. "That Doctor Roberts. Um, when is the wedding?"

"I don't know when your assistant is getting married. I didn't talk with her that long."

"The Fishmann wedding. The one I'm taking Ellen to."

"Oh, that wedding. Four weeks. I–"

"I promise to call just as soon as I get back to the US. You should have cousin Eddie take you home, I'm very busy here with meetings."

"I understand. And don't worry. I won't tell a soul. Except the girls at mahjong. And Mr. Plotkin."

"Who's Mr. Plotkin?"

She pinched his cheek, "I don't want you should worry. I'll find Eddie and go home to tell Shirley you'll be delighted to take Ellen to the wedding."

"Who's Mr. Plotkin?" Drakken called to his mother as she careened off in a random direction, looking for Motor Ed.

Ron opened his room door when Kim knocked. "How's my poor Ron?" she asked cheerfully. She was wearing sweats, with nothing on underneath – just in case. While she would have liked more of a figure - read boobs - the lack of support was not obvious and Ron was clueless about her lack of undergarments – or the strip of condoms in her pocket. Of course, clueless was an opinion many would have expressed about Ron in the best of circumstances.

"Always better when I see you."

"Good, now take off your shirt and lay face down on the bed."

"Take off my shirt?"

" I can massage you much better if you're not wearing it. I brought some baby oil... Off with the shirt."

"Okay, KP."

As he stretched out on the bed Kim 'casually' dropped a towel over the webcam on the dresser. Then she straddled him and poured a little oil on his back and began to rub it in. "Feel good?"

"Oh yeah!"

"I'm being gentle 'cause you're sore. Can I massage a little harder?"

"Oh yeah!"

"Any place that needs a loving touch in particular?"

"Left shoulder?"

"Left shoulder it is." She massaged a little harder. "Does that hurt? Anyplace else you want me to rub? Anyplace at all?"

"No," he moaned with pleasure. "That's perfect. I think I'm in heaven."

"Oh, I'll leave you feeling even better than this," she promised.

She worked on his back a couple more minutes, gathering her nerves. "How do you feel now?" she purred. "Can I hear a boo-yah?"

"Wow," he sighed. "This is so much past boo-yah I don't have a word for it."

"Roll over on your back."

"On my back?"

"Yeah, on your back. Maybe I'll work on your front. And maybe, when I'm done working on your front you can work on my front, wink, wink."

"Uh, Kim, the webcam, remember."

"Of course I remember, and that's why I dropped a towel over it when..." she glanced over at the dresser. Rufus had uncovered the camera, apparently in the belief Kim had covered it by accident. "Darn."

"Darn?"

"Guess whose little naked friend uncovered the camera?" Kim climbed off Ron. "How are you feeling? Want to just hang around the lodge today?"

"I feel a lot better. I think I'll just stick with the beginner slopes today and take it easy. You can ski the big trails."

"I've got a better idea. I'll stay with you today on the beginner slopes. I want you to know how much being here with you means to me. Think you could stand being with me all day?"

"Boo-yah!"

Kim giggled, "Glad I didn't break your boo-yah while I gave you the massage."

Drakken sat at one of the computer terminals in the lodge. He Googled "Roberts, PhD" and "maple syrup." _ "Only six hundred and ninety-eight hits,"_ he thought with relief and started looking down the list. He assumed he could rule out Susan Roberts of Tufts University. _"Seth Roberts... Marvin Roberts..."_ he grabbed a slip of paper and a pencil from the plastic box available so guests could make notes and started writing possible names down.

As Kim and Ron left the lodge a VTOL piloted by Motor Ed took off badly, causing a breakdown of a rope tow on one of the beginner lifts. Kim fidgeted nervously.

Ron sighed, "Go help them fix it. You'll feel better."

"Thanks for understanding, Ron," she said and gave him a fast kiss on the cheek.

"You're welcome," he called to her retreating back.

In the manager's office a bound and gagged man lay on the floor as Drakken scrolled down the list of guest names on a computer screen, comparing it with the list he had compiled from the internet. "Why are there so many John Smiths?" he wondered out loud.

The man on the floor mumbled something behind his gag.

"You're right," Drakken agreed, "I should have thought of that." There were three guests named Roberts at the lodge. The first names of two of them did not match any names on his list. The last Roberts entry was 'Z. Roberts'. Drakken looked down at his hand-written list, a Zaratan Roberts was a Canadian expert on the sweet stuff._ "Bingo."_ He turned to the bound figure, "Is there a pass key I could borrow to check on a guest?"

The man on the floor mumbled something behind his gag.

"Thank you," Drakken said, opening the second drawer down on the right-hand side of the desk.

_"Zaratan Roberts will probably be out skiing," _Drakken thought as he walked down the hallway. _"I'll look through the room and try and figure out who he is... What if he's a new villain looking to hire Shego to help with his startup? What if he's in the room with Shego? I'll disguise my voice!"_

"Who's there?" the muffled voice on the other side of the door asked when Drakken knocked.

"Z. Roberts?"

"No, you're not Z. Roberts. I am."

"No... Yes... I mean, I know... This is lodge security. Are you Z. Roberts?"

"Yes. Is there a problem?"

"Would you please open the door?"

"Is there a problem?"

"Please open the door, I need to speak with you."

"I'm not here."

Drakken used the pass key to open the door.

The smell of pot hit him first. Realization hit him second, the young man with the scrubby beard did not look old enough to hold a PhD. "You're Zaratan Roberts?"

"I'm Zach Roberts. Who are you?"

The mace hit Drakken third. Fortunately the stoner was too relaxed to aim well. The blue man still had partial eyesight as he ran down the hallway, occasionally bumping into walls. After a long shower he spent the rest of the day in Ron's room, watching television with Rufus.

Thirty minutes after Motor Ed left Kim skied back to Ron.

"See you got it fixed," he commented.

"No big. Anyone could have used an old zipper to replace the missing teeth on that gear."

The skiers enjoyed perfect weather. If the snow was not fresh powder there was still a deep enough base for excellent skiing. Kim convinced Ron to eat at the Ski Box...

"But the view was great at Tio Bob's!" he protested.

"I'm not here for scenery. I'm here to be with you. You said the empanadas were great. I want to try them."

And that gave Shego and Joe time for a long, lingering lunch at Tio Bob's.

Perfection continued through the afternoon. Ron kept to the easy slopes and knotted muscles relaxed with light exercise. After trying to impress each other with their ability the day before, and over-exerting themselves in the process, Shego and Joe took it a bit easier. And with the younger couple on the easy slopes and the older couple on the more advanced there were no worries about running into each other.

"You looked great today," Joe complimented Shego as they finished their last run of the day.

"There're days I don't look great?"

He laughed, "You always look great. I just meant the skiing. Going to text Kim and let her know we're done? I want to know where and when we eat tonight."

He moved over beside her as she got out her phone. "You spelled 'dinner' wrong," he commented.

"Someone had a tongue in my ear. Ever try texting with a tongue in your ear?"

"I'm willing to try."

"I'll see if Motor Ed is still around."

Ron arrived back in his room to find Drakken putting the dress back on. "I've got a lead," the blue man told him. "She's with a Dr. Roberts."

"Never heard of him."

"Neither have I... I suspect he's traveling under the name John Smith."

"And he's trying to hire Shego?"

"That's my guess."

"What does this guy look like?"

"I actually haven't seen him," Drakken admitted. "There's a chance it's someone I'd recognize. That's why I'm putting on my invisibility disguise again. No one's around during the day, but I may be able to spot them tonight. She knows I'm here now, so I have to be extra careful."

It was agreed that Shego and Joe would eat at the bar, while Kim and Ron were in the dining room. How does one end the perfect day?

Drakken spotted Shego with a man he didn't recognize as they entered the cozy bar. Not wanting to be seen he retreated to the far corner of the lobby and hoped to follow them when they left. Optimism flooded his soul.

Shego dreamed of cuddling on a couch in front of a fireplace after dinner. She and Joe would each have a large mug of hot cocoa, laced with Kahlua. She would take off her shoes and he would rub her feet. A sense of happiness flooded her soul.

Kim waited in her room for Ron so they could go to the dining room. She wondered if she should ask him to come by her room after dinner, when he didn't have Rufus with him, and drop a towel over the camera in her own room by 'accident' again. Anticipation flooded her soul as a large flock of butterflies performed an aerial ballet in her stomach.

As the couples got ready to enjoy their meals at the end of the perfect day the main doors were thrown up. Fourteen tall henchmen marched in, guns slung on their backs. The fourteen lined up at attention and their superior strode into the room on short legs. Professor Dementor headed to the desk, "I demand to see the woman known as Shego!"


	6. He Who Cannot Lie Does Not Know

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.

**He Who Cannot Lie Does Not Know What the Truce Is**

The desk clerk looked nervous as the short man with the helmet repeated his demand, even louder, "I wish to speak with the woman called Shego!"

Drakken remained safely hidden behind a potted palm. Was the Dr. Roberts that Shego had been with trying to hire her? Was Dementor trying to hire her? Had his mother been confused with the talk of Shego being engaged?

"What'll we do, KP?" Ron whispered to Kim in the dining room. _"Is Shego here to meet Dementor? Why is he yelling at the desk clerk if he's supposed to meet her?"_

"I'm not sure. We need to watch for a second before we do anything."

In the bar Joe glanced over at Shego, hoping she could tell him what was happening. Her mouth hung slightly open in disbelief. "You got a clue?" he whispered.

"I don't know," she admitted. "He's either pissed off that I stole something from him a couple months back, although I don't think he knows I did it, or he's trying to hire me."

"Hire you?"

"Long story."

"Should you go back to the room?"

She raised an eyebrow and chuckled, "You oughta know by now, I'm not much good at doing what I should do." Before he could stop her she walked out of the bar, "Here," she called.

Dementor turned from the desk, smiled, clicked his heels and bowed. "Fraulein Shego. So good to see you. I wish to make you an offer for employment."

"Sorry, got a job now. Thanks for the offer and all that yada, yada, yada, but I really appreciate the flex time Drakken gives me."

Behind his potted plant Drakken smiled.

"I am willing to offer a package which includes flex time, within reason," Dementor countered, "and a substantial raise."

"I said, I got a job now."

"I'm offering you a job with a winning team, not that loser."

"Do you have dental coverage?"

"Yes."

"Good. You see, there's something else you need to know about me. I hate high-pressure salesmen."

"High-pressure salesmen? I–"

Shego almost broke a knuckle as she hit the nearest henchman in the mouth. She swore under her breath and wished she had her protective gloves. The henchman sagged slightly and she kneed him.

The two closest henchmen on their feet grabbed for her. One got a foot in the mouth, but the other grabbed her from behind. He wasn't sure how long he could hold her, but figured his friends would be coming to his aid.

Kim Possible flipped into the lobby from the dining room and knocked one henchman out by going into his stomach with both feet.

Dementor's forces had to divide to face the two women, but one henchman took a huge swing at the green woman, who moved her head at the last moment and the man holding her went down with a bloody nose.

Shego thanked her rescuer by kicking him in the stomach, with a knee to the chin as he doubled over in pain.

Kim had taken out a second henchman and was holding her own against the two attacking her when a slender man no one could remember seeing before and that blond kid who hangs around with Kim Possible, but whose name seems to escape people, joined the fight.

"Got your back, KP!" Ron called.

"You always do."

"Can't I get any peace from you two?" Shego complained as she hit another man in the throat.

"Someone needs an attitude adjustment," Kim called back.

"I'll adjust your attitude, as soon as I'm done with these goons," Shego threatened.

Dementor watched for a couple minutes, then did a quick count of his men, and discovered there were more on the floor of the lobby than on their feet and decided it might be time for a strategic retreat. As he ran for the door, however, a middle-aged woman tripped him, then jumped on top of him and began beating him with her purse. "Not the face! Not the face!" Dementor screamed, keeping his arms crossed to protect himself.

Three minutes later all the henchmen were down for the count.

"You okay?" Ron called to Kim.

"Fine." She turned to Shego and offered, "Truce?"

Shego shrugged, "Okay... Where's Dementor?"

"There," Joe said, pointing to the short man, flanked on one side by the desk clerk and on the other a busboy from the dining room.

"Good work," Kim told them.

"We didn't capture him," the desk clerk told her. He looked around the lobby. "There was this middle-aged woman... I don't see her, but she captured him."

"I called the police," a bartender called

"Let us go!" Dementor demanded. "We've committed no crime! I arrive here to make a perfectly legitimate job offer and I'm assaulted! I'll sue! I'll sue!" He pointed to the four who had taken down his henchmen – "I want those four arrested for attacking me!"

"You came in here and threatened us," Ron argued.

"What threat? Name one? I'll sue this resort for false arrest!"

After a few minutes of tense negotiations Dementor and his battered crew limped out of the resort into the night.

The four victors stood nervously in the lobby.

"So... are you going to arrest Shego?" Ron asked the security agent. He really didn't want Kim and Shego to fight when Joe tried to arrest her.

Joe sighed, "Ron, what country to I work for?"

"Canada."

"Where are we?"

"Chile."

"I'm not here on business. I've got no authority to arrest anyone here. I'm here to ski."

"But Shego is–"

"Just here to ski," the green woman finished for him.

"But you're a villain!"

"What, a villain isn't allowed to ski?"

Back behind his potted palm Drakken sighed. Shego was there to ski. She must have simply run into the Canadian and skied with him, after all the idea of a criminal and a hero dating each other was absurd. With a sense of relief he headed back to Ron's room.

"I've got an idea," Kim announced. "Since Shego is dangerous, and Joe is a security agent, why doesn't Joe watch her so she doesn't commit any crimes?"

"You can't impose on him like that, KP."

Joe smiled, "Well, I suppose I could watch her."

"What?" Shego protested, "you'd turn me over to this Canuck?"

"Kim," Ron whispered loudly, "Joe had some woman he was seeing, remember?"

"Duty first," Joe said cheerfully. "I mean, if I have to eat dinner with this... this... I mean, I will."

"Did she dump you last night?" Kim asked.

"Yeah."

Shego smirked, "So, this woman who shot you down... Was she as hot as me?"

Joe stepped back and slowly looked Shego over, from head to toe, and back to her chest. "Nope."

"Good answer," Shego laughed. "Who knows, you might even get lucky. I've always wanted to seduce a secret agent."

He stood up proudly, "Employees of her majesty's government are incorruptible," Joe assured her.

"Oh, I don't want to break you, just bend you a little."

"We can't leave them alone," Ron insisted to Kim, "Shego's dangerous."

"Have you had dinner yet?" Joe asked Shego.

"No, I've been waiting for some handsome guy to ask me to eat with him, but I guess you'll do."

"Kim and I haven't eaten either," Ron told them, "we'll join you."

"Ron!" Kim protested.

"We got to keep Joe safe!" Ron argued.

The older couple seemed amused by Ron's efforts to insure Joe's safety. Kim wanted to tell him she had something much better in mind for the two of them to do back in her room, but she feared Ron might be too preoccupied with worries about Joe's safety, and she didn't want to compromise Joe's job by saying he had been seeing Shego for a few months already.

The four ended up on a couple couches in front of the fireplace later in the evening. A waitress brought Joe and Shego two mugs of hot chocolate with generous shots of Kahlua.

"That looks good," Kim commented.

"Want one?" Ron asked.

"Please and thank you."

Ron departed for the bar, wondering if Kim knew what Kahlua was, and Shego took off her shoes and put her feet on Joe's lap.

"I've only got one hand free," he reminded her.

"That's fine, until you're done with the cocoa." She sighed with pleasure as Joe massaged her feet. The green woman looked over at Kim. "A guy who'll rub your feet is definitely a keeper."

Ron returned from the far with two hot mugs and saw the action on the other couch. "Want me to rub your feet, KP?"

Kim smiled and slipped off her shoes while Joe and Shego chuckled.

Kim realized after a sip that the Kahlua stuff contained alcohol, but decided not to worry. It tasted good, and Ron was too preoccupied to consider anything else that night.

The drink relaxed her enough that at the end of the foot massage she changed position on the couch and she gave him a kiss of thanks. It was a long kiss, followed by others, and in the warmth of the kisses, the Kahlua, and the fireplace they fell asleep.

A member of the cleaning crew woke the teens at one in the morning.

"Wha...?" a groggy Kim mumbled.

"You need to return to your room. We're cleaning."

"What time..." Ron asked and looked at his watch. He sat up quickly, knocking Kim to the floor, and looked over at the other couch.

"They probably went back to their rooms," Kim told him. "If there'd been a fight we would have heard it."

"Yeah," Ron said, giving Kim a hand off the floor. "Sorry about that."

They walked hand-in-hand until the place where they had to head in opposite directions. Kim hesitated, but she wanted to have no alcohol in her system and be wide awake – and not have Ron preoccupied – when they made love. "I love you," she told him.

"You're the greatest," he assured her and they kissed before going to their rooms.

Drakken had apparently left. The blue man had given Rufus a large chunk of cheese from the buffet as a going away present. On a mirror, written in lipstick, was the message, "Thanks for everything." Ron wanted to go to bed, but decided to clean the mirror first. He did not want Kim to see it.

* * *

Shego and Joe finished packing. She was slightly nervous as she asked the question on her mind, but she tried to make it sound off-hand. "So... After a weekend on the slopes will the next time we see each other be on a beach where I can show off in a swimsuit?"

He hesitated a second before answering, and the second of hesitation brought fear to her heart. Maybe he didn't want to see her again. Maybe he'd figured out it was too dangerous for a government agent to be seen with a criminal. "Uh... I was, uh, hoping maybe you'd want to see Saskatchewan."

"Saska-where?"

"Saskatchewan... Please?"

"If you don't mind my asking, what in the hell does Saskatchewan have? You got a mission out there or something and you want me to tag along?"

"Well, uh, there's this little ranch... Been in the family three generations... Anyway... I told my folks I've met someone really special and, uh, they want to meet you."

"You're asking me to meet your parents?"

"Sorry. I know it's corny, but it would really mean a lot to them and–"

"What does it mean to you?" Shego demanded.

"Eh?"

"What does it mean to you?" she repeated. "They want to meet me. What do you think about that?"

"Make me the happiest man on earth if you would. Anything you want to make you happy, anything, I'll do it."

Shego put her arms around him. The kiss lasted a long time. "And how special did you tell them I am?"

"No pressure. I told them you were the most wonderful woman in the world. Just be yourself."

"Gonna have to kiss you or kill you for that one," Shego grumbled. "And I suppose you want to meet my mother?" she asked when their lips parted again.

"I'd love a preview of what you'll look like in twenty years," he said softly.

"Oh, that's a good answer. You just talked me into Saskatchewan."

They kissed again. "You'll look so sexy," he predicted, "sitting out on the front porch after dinner... Flannel shirt and blue jeans as we watch the sun go–"

"Whoa, Partner. Flannel shirt? Blue jeans?"

"You'd look sexy in anything. Out on the ranch you'll want to–"

"Compliment accepted. But we are so going to discuss wardrobe before that trip."

* * *

In another room at the resort Kim asked Ron, "All packed?"

"Yeah... I feel a little weird, you carrying my suitcase and yours."

"I'm fine, you're the one with sore muscles – remember?"

"I'm better! And I feel kinda silly. We're walking down the hall and I'll have two dinky carry-ons and you'll be lugging the real stuff."

"Don't feel silly. You're wonderful. This trip was so great, I really..." She just realized, the cameras were packed. "This trip meant a lot to me." She backed him into the wall and kissed him, hard. It was a kiss that was an invitation for him to hold her tight, and perhaps explore a little with his hands. The kiss was getting deeper when she remembered the time. "We got to get to the lobby for the shuttle," she panted.

"Oh, yeah... I... Wow..."

She smiled at him, "Just a preview," she promised. "I'll show you how much this trip meant to me later."

"Boo-yah!"

As they reached the lobby Ron exclaimed, "Hey, looks like Shego and Joe are waiting for the shuttle too!"

Shego noticed the other couple approaching and nudged Joe, who was whispering something in her ear.

"So, how was your date last night?" Kim smirked.

"Stop playing matchmaker," Ron hissed, "remember who you're talking to."

Shego looked thoughtful, "Well, when you suggested I spend the evening with this Canuck I thought you were crazy, but if he'd get down off his high horse I think he might be okay."

Joe nodded, "Yeah, sounded crazy to me too. But I think under the evil veneer she might be okay too."

"Veneer?" Shego snarled. "Hey, I'm evil to the core."

"Don't believe her," Kim told Joe. "She's a beautiful, sensitive woman, and she's good enough for any man."

"You left off intelligent and caring," Shego corrected her, and both women started laughing.

"Got any idea what that's about?" Ron asked Joe.

"Some things are beyond the understanding of mankind," the agent assured him.

"Sit by me on the shuttle bus," Shego told Kim. "I want to hear about... you know."

Kim blushed, "There is no, 'you know'... at least not yet."

"Well sit by me on the bus anyway, I'll give you my news."

Ron and Joe sat together in the front of the shuttle. In the rear Shego and Kim whispered and giggled.

"Honorary sisters," Ron explained. "When they aren't trying to kill each other."

"Yep."

"Joe?"

"Yeah?"

"I'd do anything to make Kim happy. Any advice?"

"Be Sir Gawain."

"Huh?"

"Let the lady have what she wants, and you not only make her happy but she will make you happy."

Ron nodded, "That sounds like Kim."

"Yeah. She strikes me as an alpha female."

"I, uh, might agree with you... If I had any idea what you just said." Ron glanced back. "Don't think a guy could try that with Shego – too dangerous."

"Be more dangerous to attempt a Petruchio."

"Do they speak English in Canada?"

"Yeah, we speak English. But you speak American. Grow up on a ranch with no television reception and you read books. If that woman back there finds a man who'll make her happy she'll make him one very happy fella."

"What makes her happy is evil."

Joe smiled, "Maybe. Greatest mistake a man can make is to think he knows what's going on in a woman's mind. Like I told you, some things are beyond the understanding of mankind."

-The End-

* * *

**Author's Note**

For readers who may be more like Ron than the well-read Canadian. Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is an old tale of chivalry which exists in various forms. A knight of King Arthur's court, Sir Gawain, is charged with finding out what women really want. An ugly woman promises to tell him, if he will marry her. He agrees, and is told what women want is the power to decide for themselves. She reveals she is under an enchantment. She can be beautiful - but will cheat on him, or remain ugly and be faithful. She asks what he wants. He wisely says, "You decide," and because he let her decide for herself she will be beautiful and faithful.  
Petruchio comes from Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. The strong-willed Kate is psychologically beaten down by Petruchio, and she becomes an obedient little wife, happily doing whatever her lord and master instructs her.


End file.
